I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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