were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
