why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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