waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
