I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
