youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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