I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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