I showed him my bush... on skype.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
