have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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