i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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