I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
