Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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