I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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