Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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