well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
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Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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