I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
