We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
