were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
