she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
3 2 1 whiskey
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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