I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
