dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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