Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
