Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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