My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
