I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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