ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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