Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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