this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
