You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize