i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
