return my video game
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
