When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
