you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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