Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
