Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
