she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
