So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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