ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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