Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
