HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
