guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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