I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
