question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
