I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
