his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize