he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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