I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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