garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My vagina just recognized that song.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
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