I think I died a long time ago.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
