I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
