well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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