Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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