I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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