The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize