my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
